


Remembered

by ImagineYourself



Series: The Cage [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Hallucifer, M/M, You asked for it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-22
Updated: 2013-04-22
Packaged: 2017-12-09 04:19:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/769899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineYourself/pseuds/ImagineYourself
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sam wasn't expecting it, he came back. The feelings remain even when the memories don't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remembered

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously. You guys. Enjoy your tears, because Chuck knows you deserve them for making me write this. 
> 
> *cries*

“You sure you’re gonna be okay, man?”

“Yeah, Dean. I’m fine,” Sam said with a forced smile and a small laugh.

Dean just gave him a stern look. “Alright. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

When the door to their motel room finally shut, Sam let out a breath of relief. He loved his brother, but ever since he’d returned from Hell Dean had been a little… overprotective. That day, Sam had finally convinced him to go out and investigate a little with some of the victims’ families on their latest case while Sam would stay back and relax for a couple of hours to research.

He was desperate for some time off.

Over the short past weeks after his return, he didn’t remember anything, and he still didn’t, but every once in a while he would see flashes, glimpses of things from Hell. Be it a fire that didn’t exist or opening a door and seeing the room filled with hooks and chains until he blinked. Sometimes he would even hear the sound of screams and cough at the unwelcome sulfur in his lungs. He was slowly getting used to it though, and he figured it was because the memories were so strong they sometimes bled though the wall a little bit.

Still, it was tiring business trying to catch up on everything that had happened and getting back into the swing of hunting after so long. Mentally tiring, that is, because of course the soulless Sam had kept his body in great shape. It was nice to have a few hours to himself now and again, just to sit and look up whatever they needed for the case they were on. The only thing that could disrupt his alone time was—

Sam’s train of thought broke off as he glanced up from his computer screen to stretch and saw Lucifer standing against the counter. He froze and blinked a couple of times, hoping the image would fade after a moment. But the angel was still there, a small smile on his lips and a pair of deep maroon wings on his back, clad only in a pair of slacks with his arms crossed over his chest. Sam felt something stir in the pit of his stomach.

“Hey, Sammy.”

The hunter was speechless. He’d barely seen the angel before, let alone heard him talk all that much, but his voice was so damn familiar. It wouldn’t matter what that voice said, he knew he would always recognize it. The thing that stopped him short was the intense emotion he felt at hearing that voice again.

“L-Lucifer?” he finally stuttered out. The angel smiled a little wider and he looked… well, tenderly at Sam. He lifted himself from the counter and stepped closer, but Sam moved back.

Lucifer’s face fell. “You don’t remember.” It wasn’t a question.

“Remember what?” Sam had the sinking feeling that he already knew that the devil was talking about.

“You don’t remember… me,” he said slowly.

Sam was quiet for a moment. “I don’t remember much of anything.” He was visibly struggling, his mind racing to figure out if this was real or not. But how could it be? Lucifer was still in the cage. Sam was out. Right?

“What _do_ you remember?” the angel asked cautiously, slowly moving a little closer. Sam didn’t answer. “Do you remember the cage? Hell?”

The hunter shook his head a little. “I remember… fire.” He wasn’t sure why he was telling the devil this of all creatures, but that devil’s eyes lit up just a little at his words.

“What else?”

Sam felt a little distant. “It was hot… and pain.” He tried to focus on Lucifer again. “Why are you here?”

He shrugged in reply. “I should ask you. I’m in your mind after all.”

“So… you’re not real?”

“No.” The angel looked a little sad and his wings were drooping.

Sam abruptly turned and went to sit on the edge of his bed. “Great. I’m full out hallucinating now.”

Lucifer let out a small laugh. “That’s probably my fault.”

“Why?” Sam looked up at him as he moved a little closer.

“I had Death alter your memories so you wouldn’t remember what really happened.”

“Why would you do that?”

“I thought it would be best…”

“Better I only see torture and pain than the angel I fell in love with?”

Sam froze.

Lucifer was looking at him in amazement.

“Why did I just say that?” Sam asked, worry creasing his brow. “Tell me!” he added, standing when Lucifer didn’t say a word.

“Do you remember what you said right before you left?” the devil asked suddenly a few moments later.

Sam was silent for a long time, but before long words started tumbling from his mouth and he heard his own heartbroken voice in his head. “I’ll never really forget you…”

The angel gave him a small, sad smile and it nearly tore out Sam’s heart. “You do remember, at least parts of it.”

“I’m starting to, I think. I don’t know if that’s a good thing yet or…” he trailed off. Hesitantly, Sam reached out and Lucifer surprised him by moving quickly away.

“Sam… I don’t know if—” he broke off, seeming to not want to finish the sentence, but Sam already knew what he meant. Even so, it didn’t deter the hunter from attempting to grab his wrist.

They both met each other’s eyes with unspoken words as Sam’s hand grasped his arm tightly.

“Even if you are just in my mind… this feels real.” He put his other hand on the angel’s bare chest.

“Sam,” Lucifer said in a warning tone. “You know this will only hurt you more when it’s all over and I’m gone again.”

Sam didn’t drop his hands, but his gaze met the devil’s and his eyes held a deep pain that was far beyond his body’s years. It came from the load his soul had to bear, all the guilt and frustrations of his actions before the cage, and then the emotional turmoil from having to leave behind the only creature he would ever love so deeply. His soul bled through the wall in his mind, at that moment having enough strength to bring forth all of those feelings even without all of the memories attached.

He didn’t say a word. He just allowed his soul to block out his mind for the moment and pull Lucifer into a kiss that was hard and rushed and _God_ did it feel good. He felt the angel clutch at him just as tight as Sam was holding him and together their mouths melted together as if they had been made perfectly for each other. Lucifer’s body fit against Sam’s like a mold and Sam could feel himself falling into a familiar process as he lost his shirt to Lucifer’s hands.

His back was pressed into the wall which was covered in ugly wallpaper that Sam instinctively knew Lucifer would laugh at if his mouth wasn’t preoccupied elsewhere, namely Sam’s neck. The hunter growled in approval and savored the familiarity of the devil’s forked tongue on his skin, in his mouth, everywhere.

“Lucifer…” he whispered, and suddenly everything was gone. His eyes flew open and he was alone. “Lucifer?” he called out hesitantly, though he knew he would get no answer.

The angel was gone.

Sam stood there for a long time, harsh longing slowly ripping him apart from the inside. He eventually moved to his bed and sat, mind blank, heart sore.

. . .

He hadn’t meant to, but he figured he’d fallen asleep because the next thing he knew Dean was shaking his shoulder to rouse him. For some reason, he felt true and raw sorrow, but he couldn’t remember why he would feel something like that.

“You good, man?” Dean suddenly asked from where he stood by his own bed, taking off his jacket.

Sam looked up at him and had to clear his throat a couple of times before he could speak. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”

But inside he was crying, and he didn’t even know why.


End file.
